A Fine Line Between Hope & Faith
by Halawen
Summary: Things have been tense with Clare & Drew since he found out he was not the baby daddy escaping the tension with Drew leads Clare to a friendship with Tris. Which leads to a friendship with Owen & Bianca & perhaps more with Fitz. She's going to need all of them when she fears for her life & the life of her child. Also feat Adam, Eli & Maya. 2 or 3 shot.
1. Not Every Tear Means You're Going to Cry

**Welcome to tonight's story, this will be a two shot, maybe even a three shot but chapter two won't be until January or possibly February probably.**

 **Legal: I own nothing but the idea**

 **Important things to know before reading:**

 ***Clare is pregnant with Eli's baby and this starts about 3 weeks after Drew found out he was not the father**

 ***Adam is alive, he broke up with Becky during the summer and Adam began dating Maya**

 ***There was no Paris trip and Zoe does not exist**

 ***Drew is not dating Becky**

 **That should do it the rest will be explained in this first chapter so enjoy.**

 **Ch. 1 Not Every Tear Means You're Going to Cry**

 **(CLARE)**

"Are you sure that Owen won't mind that I'm coming to the housewarming?" I question Tristan as I drive us to Owen's new apartment.

"No he won't mind, he knows we've become friends," Tris assures me with a grin and I smile back.

Tris and I seem like unlikely friends but it all began about three weeks ago. After a very tense student council meeting with Drew I left near tears and went out back, crying in the shade at the back of the school. I was bawling and didn't hear Tris approach until he spoke. He asked why I was upset but he already guessed it was about Drew, the whole school new I was pregnant and had originally thought Drew was the father but then discovered Eli had to be there father. Drew had been so happy when he thought he was the dad and I was trying to figure out how to tell him he wasn't the dad when I mistakenly told Alli, who decided she had the right to tell Dallas and he told Drew and then Drew exploded. He was so angry and now his animosity toward me is so strong we can barely be in the same room together. Adam did his best to stay neutral and didn't really blame anyone all though he wasn't on the best terms with Dallas or Alli at the moment.

After pouring my heart out to Tris he was actually quite comforting. It was nice to talk to someone who was totally outside the situation. Tris and I began hanging out a lot, and since Tris is best friends with Maya who is dating my male best friend the four of us hung out quite often and always ate lunch together. I'd been hanging out with Tris more than pretty much everyone these last few weeks. However I had not seen Owen at all in that time so I was a little surprised when Tris invited me to Owen's housewarming at his new apartment.

I park in front of the apartment building and get out with Tris. We grab the housewarming gifts and I follow Tris inside to the elevator. Tris knows where he's going so I follow him and he knocks on an apartment door. A moment later it's opened by Tris and Owen's Mom, I have met their parents because I go there with Adam and Maya for movie night a lot since we no longer do it at the Torres house.

"Hi Honey, hi Clare," Emily smiles hugging her youngest son before hugging me.

"Hi Emily," I grin walking into the apartment. There's a small table with other presents so we set our presents on that.

"Hey little bro," Owen smiles hugging Tristan, "hey Clare."

"Hi Owen, I hope you don't mind my crashing the housewarming."

"Not at all Tris told me that you've become close," Owen smiles.

"Yeah and I hear that my ex-fiancé and his billet brother have been real assholes," Bianca comments coming over and putting her arm around Owen's shoulders.

"Yeah they are. It's nice to see you again Bianca," I smile.

"And me?" Fitz asks coming between Bianca and Owen.

"I didn't even know you were still around but it is good to see you," I grin.

"I left The Dot after the incident at your house and Father Greg got me a job at a preschool. I actually love working with little kids," Fitz tells me.

"Hey that's great," I grin as Tris hands me a bottle of water to drink.

I spend most of the party with Fitz, Bianca, Owen and Tris. We fill them in on everything that's been happening at school, I talk about the pregnancy and I know I'm having a boy. How Eli came back and works at The Dot, it was very tenuous with us when he thought Drew was the dad but he's stepped up. We go to appointments together and we have a strong friendship now but I'm not sure I want anything more than that. Other than us and the Milligan parents the other people here seem to be Owen's friends from Ryerson. Owen's parents are the first to leave the party and then the alcohol comes out; the only ones who don't partake at all are me, Tris and Fitz. I actually spend quite a bit of time talking to Fitz; he's come so far from the bully he once was it's sometimes hard to believe he's the same person.

"I'm back almost every weekend, and now that Owen has his own place I plan to crash here almost as much as I do at Fitz's place. We should hang out," Bianca comments hugging me before I leave.

"Yeah that would be great," I grin.

"You guys are welcome over here anytime," Owen tells us and I smile. I hug Owen and Fitz then Tris and I leave since I promised his parents I'd get him home.

"Thanks for inviting me Tris I had a great time," I say when I drop him at his house.

"It was fun I'll see you at school tomorrow," Tris grins getting out of the car.

I wave to him and when he's safely inside I drive home. I greet my parents when I arrive and go up to my room. Eli calls to say hi and see how I'm doing, he's been pretty attentive since finding out he was the dad. It's nice that he's working so hard however I still haven't totally forgiven him for how he treated me when he found out I was pregnant and thought the baby was Drew's. When I hang up with Eli my phone rings again but it's a number I don't recognize.

"Hello?"

"It's Fitz; I hope you don't mind I got your number from Tris. Well technically Owen got it from Tris but still."

"I don't mind at all it's nice to hear from you."

"Good, I have the day off tomorrow maybe I could pick you up for lunch?"

"That would be nice," I smile.

"Great I'll be in the parking lot when the lunch bell rings. Goodnight Clare."

"Goodnight Fitz see you tomorrow," I grin and hang up the phone before getting ready for bed.

I go to bed thinking about the party today and how much fun I had, and thinking about tomorrow and going to lunch with Fitz. It takes me a while to get to sleep though because I have a pain in my lower back. Everything I've read says lower back pain doesn't start until late in the second trimester unless you're having multiples but it's got to be the pregnancy causing it and I've been feeling it a lot recently. I finally fall asleep and get a few hours but I'm still tired in the morning and take a long shower. When I get to school in the morning I have to walk past Drew and Dallas on the steps but when I get inside Tris, Adam and Maya are on the steps of the foyer and I sit with them.

"Tris was telling us about the party sounds like you had a good time and there was some flirting with Fitz," Maya grins.

"There was, he's taking me to lunch today," I say with a smile.

"Does Eli know?" Adam questions with caution because he's fully aware of the history between Eli, Fitz and I.

"No but I will tell him although Eli can't control who I spend time with."

"We know that but he punched Drew when he found out you'd slept with Drew and he thought Drew was the dad. And he has a pretty bad history with Fitz as it is just break it to him gently."

"It's not like Fitz and I were going to go to The Dot for lunch," I comment apparently just as Alli, Jenna, Drew and Dallas walk in.

"Clare you're going out with Fitz?" Jenna exclaims.

"Since when and why didn't you tell us?" Alli questions while Drew just gives me a look.

"It's one lunch and we saw each other at Owen's housewarming party, he called me after and asked me to lunch there's nothing to tell yet. I need to go to my locker I'll see you in class Adam," I comment and stand up. When I stand up the world suddenly vanishes, everything goes black and I start to fall to the ground.

"Whoa," several voices say at once but I can't pick out who says it and they sound far away and almost like they're under water. I don't hit the floor however as a bunch of people catch me at once.

"Clare are you okay?" Adam asks as I get set gently on the steps again.

"Yeah I'm fine, just stood up to fast. I'm alright honestly," I assure everyone.

"Happened to me too when I was pregnant there's a lot going on in her body," Jenna says and whoever is holding me lets go of me.

"I'm okay and I still need to go to my locker," I remind them.

"Come on I'll go with you," Adam offers. He and Tris each take one of my arms and stands up bringing me up with them.

Adam and I walk to my locker and I'm fine for the rest of the morning. After second period I stash my backpack in my locker and go out front where I see Fitz in his car. Fitz smiles at me when I get in the car and we eat at a little Italian café not too far from the school. We talk a little but mostly eat in silence; still it's nice to just be together. Fitz has a calming presence and every time he smiles at me I can't help but smile back.

"I had a nice time and I'd like to take you out again," Fitz says when we takes me back to the school.

"I'd like that too but I'm going to have to tell Eli about us. This is his son too and he has a right to know who I'm hanging out with."

"You don't think Eli will take it very well?"

"I don't know and I don't really care how he does take it, he has a right to know who I'm keeping company with but he can't control it. I'll talk to him after school just before student council. I'll call you later tonight or tomorrow and we can talk about going out, maybe an actual date involving dinner and dancing?"

"Sure if that's what you'd like," Fitz smiles.

"It is and thanks for lunch, I'll talk to you soon," I tell him placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

I get out of the car and go into the school and to my locker. I tell Adam, Maya & Tris about lunch with Fitz before the bell rings. Unfortunately Drew and Dallas are both in my afternoon classes. At least Alli's in third period with us as a buffer and Adam is in 4th period with us.

"I'm going to tell Eli about Fitz, I'll be at student council as soon as I'm done," I tell Drew and Dallas although I'm looking at and speaking to Adam and not them.

"You want some company?" Adam offers.

"No I'll be okay Eli won't hit me," I reply. I walk to The Dot and Eli's behind the counter. "Hey can you take a short break?" I question and Eli looks at Spinner.

"Go ahead," Spinner nods. Eli and I walk outside and around the back and I sit on the steps that lead up to Above the Dot.

"I'm only telling you this because you're the baby's father and so you have a right to know but anything you say isn't going to change my mind."

"Okay," Eli says slowly.

"I went with Tris to Owen's housewarming and Fitz was there. We talked a lot and he took me to lunch today and we had a good time and we're going out again. Just a date it doesn't mean anything yet but it might lead to something."

"How can go out with Fitz again?"

"I know you don't like him but he's grown up a lot. He's not the bully he was, he's matured and he's sweet and I like spending time with him. You don't have to like it but you also don't get to control who I hang out with."

"Just be careful okay that is still my baby in there," Eli says putting his hand on my belly.

"I'll be careful right now I need to get student council and you should probably get back to work," I comment standing up slowly and rubbing my lower back.

"You okay?"

"Yeah just got a pain that I keep feeling in my lower back near the hip, I'll talk to the doctor about it at our next appointment," I tell him and he nods. I wave to him as he goes in through the back and I walk back to school.

"So how'd Eli take it?" Jenna questions.

"He wasn't thrilled but he just said to be careful," I reply.

"Okay Connor how's the treasury looking?" Drew asks getting down to business.

Connor talks a while and then Jenna gets started on new business. While Jenna's talking I'm looking over the proposed social calendar Alli made and suddenly a drop of blood falls onto the paper. I stifle a gasp and brush a finger under my nose, when I see that my nose is bleeding I get up from the table quickly.

"Excuse me," I say walking to the door and holding a hand over my mouth so it looks like I'm about to be sick rather than having a bloody nose.

I run to the girl's washroom and grab a paper towel, my nose won't stop bleeding and it quickly soaks through the paper towel. I grab a wad of paper towels and run out to my car. A terrible thought occurs to me as I realize the pain in my back, the dizziness and bloody nose may very well mean something else.

"Clare what's wrong?" Tris calls after me.

"I'm worried I relapsed I have to go to the hospital," I tell him and he sees the blood soaked paper towels.

"I'll drive, where are your keys?" He asks.

"In my purse, still in student council," I tell him as I realize I ran out without grabbing my purse

"Okay just stay here I'll go get your purse and tell them you're not feeling well."

I nod and lean against my car, Tris returns in a few moments he has my purse and my backpack. Tris tells me that Alli and Jenna want me to call them later and hope that I feel better. He gets in the driver's side and begins driving.

"Don't go to Toronto Western; actually don't go to any hospital in Toronto. Just drive, I want to go to a hospital far from here," I instruct Tris.

"Okay but are you sure? You seem to be bleeding a lot," Tris comments.

"Yes I'm sure if I go to Toronto Western they'll call my parents it's where I had treatment and they consult with other hospitals in the greater Toronto area. I don't want my mom to know I don't want her to start freaking out I just want to figure out what's going on first," I tell him as I take a box of tissues from the glovebox.

Tris gets on the highway and begins driving north east, he keeps driving until we reach Oshawa and he gets off when he sees a sign for a hospital. We follow the signs, Tris parks and I we go into emergency.

"I need to go to obstetrics or oncology I think," I tell the nurse behind the desk.

"If you're pregnant they'll take to obstetrics first," she replies.

"She's eighteen weeks," Tris answers for me.

"Eddie take her up to obstetrics," the nurse says grabbing some gauze for my nose.

They take me up to obstetrics and check me in. I'm given a gown to change into and cotton is stuck into my nose, to catch the blood. I wash my hands and change into the gown with a little help from Tris. A nurse comes in and puts a monitor on my belly, then a technician comes in and does an ultrasound and tells me the baby is fine which is a huge relief but I'm still terrified and my nose is still bleeding. I'm transferred up to oncology and a doctor comes in and looks at my bloody nose, when I tell them it's been bleeding for an hour and my history of cancer they pack it with special cotton and take me for an CT, just of my head so they can look at my nose but minimal radiation risk to the baby. I have all my medical records on a USB on my purse so I give it to the nurse. By the time I'm back in the room with Tris my nose has finally stopped bleeding. There's a knock at the door and another doctor comes in, an older gentleman with graying hair.

"Hello Clare I'm Doctor Gibbons head of oncology," he says shaking my hand and then looks at Tris, "are you the father?"

"No just a good friend I'm Tristan," he introduces himself and shakes the doctor's hand.

"Well I'm glad Clare has support, so I just had a look at your MRI. The good news is there are no tumors in your neck or head and your lymph nodes are not swollen. That does not rule out a relapse however. I understand you only went into remission in August?"

"Yes, the pregnancy was a shock, I was told I'd have to go off my meds or it could kill the baby so I went off them. I had two months left of maintenance meds."

"Okay how about any other symptoms besides the nose bleed?"

"Yeah but I'd attributed it all to the pregnancy."

"What have you been feeling?"

"Some fatigue, pain in my lower back near my hip and I almost passed out this morning," I tell him.

"Show me where you've been feeling the pain," he tells me. I get off the table and show him where I've been feeling the pain and he feels around. "Alright I'm going to have you admitted, I know you're eighteen so we don't have to alert your parents if you don't want," he says and I shake my head. "I do feel a mass in that area so we're going to do a biopsy and then draw some blood. We'll keep you here until the results come back and then send you home or transfer you to a hospital in Toronto if necessary. Because you're pregnant we'll have a fetal monitor brought in so we can monitor the baby. A nurse will be in shortly to get you settled and take some blood."

"Should I call your parents?" Tris questions when the doctor leaves.

"Yeah but just tell them I'm sleeping at your house," I reply.

"You want me to call anyone else?" Tris asks and I burst into tears because the thought that the cancer has returned has me petrified, I could lose my baby and I could die.

 **(TRISTAN)**

I put my arm around Clare and sit with her until the nurse comes in and Clare wipes her tears away. I ask her if she wants me to stay while they draw blood and she shakes her head. The nurse tells me she's being sent for an MRI of her hip area where she feels the pain after her blood is drawn and will be out of her room for about thirty minutes. I go out to a waiting room so I can call people. I call Clare's mom and tell her she's sleeping at our place for a couple of nights and then I call my mom and tell her I'm spending the night at Owen's and then I call Owen.

"What's up little bro?"

"I told Mom I was sleeping at your place tonight and I told Clare's mom she was sleeping at our house for a couple of nights."

"What's going on Tris?" Owen questions.

"Clare's in the hospital in Oshawa, her nose was bleeding it bled for the whole drive but she didn't want to go to the hospital in Toronto. They think her cancer might have returned, they said the baby is okay but they're taking blood and then she needs an MRI and a biopsy. She's terrified Owen and so am I."

"Which hospital are you at? I'm coming and I'll call Fitz I'm sure he'll want to come too."

"Lakeridge she's in the oncology ward. I have to call Eli it's his baby and I'll call Adam too."

"Yeah we'll see you in a bit," Owen says and hangs up. I take my phone from ear and find Eli's number in my contacts.

"Hey Tris what's up?"

"Don't freak out but I'm at the hospital with Clare but it's not the baby the baby is fine," I assure him.

"Then why is she in the hospital?"

"Her nose was bleeding she thought the cancer might have returned and the doctor thinks so too. She's going to be checked in for a couple of days and they're running some tests."

I tell Eli what hospital we're at and tell him I was going to call Adam. Eli says he's on his way and he'll call Adam so I hang up and go back to Clare's room. She returns after a while and they put her in the hospital bed and then they bring her in some food but she's not hungry so I eat it instead. Clare just sits in the hospital bed looking at the wall, I can see the terror in her eyes but she's not crying. Actually she doesn't move at all until Owen and Fitz run into the room.

"What are you doing here?"

"Tris called we were worried," Owen tells her as Fitz sits on her bed.

"Have the doctor's told you anything yet?" Fitz asks after kissing her hand.

"No they did an MRI because the doctor felt a mass where I'd been having pain and they needed to know where to do the biopsy. They did the biopsy and then brought me back and they haven't been back in," Clare tells them and then Eli comes in.

"What have they said? What did they say about the baby?" Eli asks.

"The baby is fine, they haven't told me anything yet," Clare tells him.

"Are you sure the baby is okay?" Eli questions.

"If the baby wasn't okay she'd be in obstetrics and not in oncology," I comment and Eli nods.

"Adam couldn't come but he wanted me to send his love and hopes that you're okay," Eli tells her and Clare smiles.

"Hi Clare and everyone," Dr. Gibbons says as he comes back in the room.

"This is my brother Owen and our friend Fitz and that's Eli the baby's father."

"It's nice to meet you all. Okay Clare we did the biopsy but as I'm sure you remember the results won't be back for a couple of days. We did ask them to rush it but it will still take some time. However your MRI revealed something else, not only is there a mass on your ilium or hip bone. We also found a mass on your back a few inches from your T9 which according to your medical records is where the original cancerous tumor was. What this means is that it's likely that you relapsed after going off you meds and with a tumor on your bone the cancer metastasized. Now don't freak out yet because we can't be a hundred percent positive of this until the test results come back," the doctor tells us and Clare nods curling up her knees and tears start streaking her cheeks.

"The MRI did it hurt the baby? How will these tests affect the baby? If she needs treatment will it harm the baby?" Eli questions.

"The MRI did not hurt the baby and neither did the tests we are monitoring the baby to make sure it's not in distress. We'll discuss what will happen with the treatment when we get the test results back and we know that she needs it," the doctor answers as Fitz puts his arm around Clare and she cries on his shoulder.

"Doc I know it's past visiting hours but we'd like to stay," Fitz speaks up.

"It's alright for tonight as long as you stay out of the way of the doctors. Clare you should try and get some rest," the doctor says before leaving.

"You need anything Clare?" Owen asks her but she shakes her head still crying on Fitz's shoulder and he's holding her.

"The baby is okay it'll be okay," Eli comments.

"You'll be fine, you beat cancer once you can do it again," Fitz assures her and she takes his hand.

"You'll get through this Clare and we'll all help you fight," I tell her and she smiles at me.

"I'm glad we're friends Tris I'm going to need you, all of you, if the cancer is back."

 **The update will pick up probably with them finding out about the test results. So chapter 2 will be some time in January or possibly February I will work on both of those calendars sometime next week.**


	2. Hug Me Tight I'll Hold You Close

**I know it's been a long long time it's been a very very busy time for me. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and great New Year.**

 **In case you missed it there are new photos in the 200 Stories Gallery, there are now 80 pics and I'll hopefully have another ten up by Saturday. Also a few new plots have been added to my profile page in the last couple of weeks.**

 **Ch. 2 Hug Me Tight I'll Hold You Close**

 **(FITZ)**

"Alright Clare we have the test results back," Dr. Gibbons says coming into her room late Tuesday afternoon. We've all been here all day and stayed the night although no one really slept. "You have indeed relapsed and the cancer has metastasized," he tells us and I feel my world drop away. I know all about Clare being sick over the summer and hearing that she's sick again with something as scary as cancer is very frightening. Clare looks blank and petrified all at once, I squeeze her hand but she barely moves.

"What's that mean?" Tris asks.

"That's just a big word that means it spread to other parts of her body. Now Clare because of the spread and the severity I recommend you begin treatment immediately," he says and Clare puts her hand on her belly.

"Treatment would harm the baby wouldn't it?"

"Chemo and radiation would yes but there are alternative methods and therapies you can do until the baby is close enough to term to be safely delivered. What you need to do is talk about it with your family and your oncologist. I recommend that you go home and think about it, talk about what's best for you. Do you have any questions?" He asks but Clare just shakes her head, I'm too shocked to think of any questions right now. "I'll check back shortly, right now I'm going to call your oncologist," the doctor says before leaving the room.

Clare isn't moving, I do know she's breathing but she's so terrified I think her mind is trying to catch up with everything she's just learned. I brush a curl behind her ear and kiss her temple, she seems to snap out of it a little bit, at least enough to look at me.

"We'll find alternative therapies until the baby is born, we're not risking the baby," Eli says and I glare at him.

"And what about Clare? If she's at risk then so is the baby. If she doesn't get treatment she'll get worse and die," I growl at him.

"We're not doing chemo and risk losing the baby," Eli hisses back.

"If you don't then you could lose Clare and lose the baby anyway and you're not the one that's sick," I bark at him raising my voice more than I mean to.

"HEY," Owen snaps at both of us and we look at him, "it's not a decision for either of you and this is not helping Clare."

"Clare what do you want to do?" Tris asks her.

"I don't know," she shakes her head bursting into tears and curling into me some more. I hold her tight and rub her back.

"We should get you home, talk with your parents and Eli and decide what's best for you but you don't have to decide tonight. I'm going to go find the doctor and ask about getting you home, if you don't need to go by ambulance then Fitz can drive you home," Owen says before leaving the room.

We're silent for several minutes, Clare continues crying on my chest. I wish I could comfort her somehow but I know how devastating relapse of cancer is on its own, made all the more devastating by the fact that she almost has to choose between herself and the baby.

"The doctor said you don't need to be taken by ambulance so I think we should get you packed up and you can ride home with Fitz. Eli maybe you should start heading back now and go to Clare's house so you can explain what's happening to her parents before she arrives," Owen suggests.

"Yeah," Eli nods, "yeah I can do that. I'll see you back in Toronto."

"Clare you go change in the washroom and we'll get the rest of your stuff packed up," Owen says after Eli leaves the room. She nods and grabs the bag with her clothes before going into the washroom. "She's going to need our support, I didn't really see her the first time she was sick but now she's pregnant and it makes it that much worse, and I don't think Eli's going to be all that helpful."

"Because he's only worried about the baby," I growl.

"Yeah and fighting with him is just going to stress her out more so keep it to yourself," Owen censures me.

"I'll watch it for Clare's sake," I nod. I know he's right but Eli's attitude is bugging me.

"Good now Eli will probably talk to Adam but Tris call him on the way back anyway, tell him what's going on and tell him I'll be over to tell Drew and Dallas later. With their asshole-ien behavior recently I don't know how they'll react and I'm not letting them make things more difficult on Clare," Owen tells us.

I'm glad he's taking charge because all I can think of right now is comforting Clare. She comes out of the washroom and she looks so frightened and beaten down it's heart breaking. I become filled with determination not to let her be defeated by this, I know she's devastated and afraid, faced with a nearly impossible choice but with faith all hope is not lost and I'll make sure she gets through this.

"Come on Beautiful let's take the scenic road home and find somewhere nice to stop for dinner," I say holding my hand out to her. She doesn't say anything or hardly look up but she does take my hand.

"We'll get the rest of your stuff and take it to your house," Tris tells her and she nods slightly.

We start to leave but then she lets go of my hand turning back to Owen and Tris, she hugs Tris tightly and then Owen.

"Thank you both for coming and staying with me," she tells them. Her voice waivers slightly but she says it in a strong voice and even with a bit of a smile, and they smile back at her.

"You needed people with you and we were happy to do it," Owen replies.

She comes back to me and takes my hand, I wave to Owen and Tris as we leave. Before we exit the hospital she signs her discharge papers. We walk out to her car because I drove up with Owen, I open the door for her before she gets in the car she hugs me tightly and I hold her close.

"Mark I'm scared," she whispers in a terrified tone trembling with turmoil.

"I know, I am too but we're here with you and we'll fight this together. You're not alone Clare we'll support you and be with you and anything else you need from us," I assure her.

"I'm really glad you were at Owen's party and we reconnected," she says slowly letting go of me.

"Me too."

 **(OWEN)**

Tris and I arrive at the Torres house and go to the basement door. Adam isn't here but we already knew he wouldn't be, Tris called him on the way back. He told Adam everything and Adam went over to Clare's house to wait for her return with Eli and her parents. I knew she and Fitz were taking their time coming back but at least when she got home she'd have lots of people around her. I wanted to tell Drew and Dallas myself because honestly I wasn't sure how they'd react. They could just not care or shrug it off or worse, or they could stop acting like jerks and at the very least just stay away from her so she doesn't have to put up with their behavior while going through treatment.

"Hey Owen," Dallas nods when I come in while Drew barely looks over. Tris is with me but they haven't even looked at him, actually Drew is looking back at his video game. So I go over and turn off the video game and now he looks at me.

"Hey I was playing that!"

"Shut up, I need to tell you both something and you're going to shut up and listen."

"Does this have anything to do with why Adam ran out of here earlier?" Dallas asks.

"Yeah because Clare relapsed, she's sick with cancer again and it metastasized. She's not only faced with being sick again but she's pregnant and she can't go through chemo pregnant, so she can start treatment now and kill her baby or she can wait until the baby is close enough to term to deliver safely and risk dying herself."

"Well fuck," Dallas exhales.

"Yeah and you two, especially you," I say to Drew, "need to back the hell off and at least be civil when you see her. If you're going to keep acting like a complete ass don't do it around her it's the last thing she needs right now. And I promise you that if you do anything to make this harder on her between me, Fitz and Eli we'll make your life hell. Come on Tris let's go to Clare's house and see how she's doing."

Tris and I walk out without really waiting for a reaction. I figure it's better to let them stew in it all and let it settle in. I said what I needed to, I meant the threat and they know that. Tris and I get back in my car and we drive to Clare's house. I park in front of Eli's car and Tris rings the bell, I hear voices inside but they seem to be arguing which isn't good. Adam opens the door to let us in and I can tell by the look on his face it's not good.

"Clare's barely said anything, her mom, Eli and Fitz won't stop arguing and it's not helping her at all," Adam tells us as we lock the front door behind us.

"Great like this isn't hard enough on her," I comment as we walk into the living room. " **HEY** ," I yell loudly to shut everyone up.

"Who are you?" Clare's mom asks.

"Mom this Owen, Tristan's brother," Clare says while Tris steps out from behind me.

"Hi Mrs. Martin," Tris waves.

"Now that we're all acquainted why the hell is everyone arguing?" I demand.

"Arguing over what's best for Clare," Fitz says.

"And the baby," Eli speaks up.

"Clare have you talked to your doctor yet?" I ask her and she shakes her head. "The doctor at the hospital in Oshawa said that he was going to call her doctor. You should probably call and make an appointment to figure out what the options are so you can talk about them. Clare you look tired you should go lie down, Fitz and Adam go with her. Eli go home and tell your parents what's going on. Call us if you need anything," I tell Clare before hugging her tightly.

"Thanks Owen," she smiles hugging me back. Tris hugs her and then we get back in my car.

"Can I sleep at your place tonight, I know Mom and Dad will be suspicious and we'll need to tell them tomorrow but I don't think I'll be able to stop thinking about Clare tonight," Tris says as I begin driving.

"Yeah me either and of course you can stay over. We'll tell mom and Dad tomorrow where we've been for the last couple of days and why."

 **(CLARE)**

I sit in the doctor's office between my mom and Mark, holding each of their hands, and Eli sits on the other side of my mom. I'm 26 weeks pregnant now, we know we're having a boy and have started discussing names. Mark and I have been dating for the last two and a half months and I've been trying to fight the cancer with alternative therapies and medicines. I saw my oncologist for a blood test and a checkup a couple days ago and after getting the results back he asked me to come in.

"Thank you for coming in Clare, I'm glad you brought your support system with you. Unfortunately the latest tests show that the cancer is progressing. I'm afraid it simply was not caught in time to treat with less aggressive methods, we've done all we can but you've entered stage three. And I'm afraid the cancer is progressing so fast that if we don't act now you will lose this battle. I'm recommending that you check into the hospital on Monday for aggressive treatment including surgery and chemotherapy."

"If she goes through chemotherapy it will kill the baby won't it?" Eli asks.

"It is very likely that the baby will die or be still born and if the baby lives will likely have birth defects because of the chemo. I know this is hard, and we never recommend treatment for pregnant women unless it's life or death and in your case it is. If we don't act now you will lose this battle and not only will the baby die but so will you. If we don't treat it now you're going to get to a place where it will be too late to treat, and you have to know the cancer is spreading toward the uterus and the baby."

The doctor stops talking and the room is silent. Silent and tense. I feel like my world has dropped away, as if suddenly everything in the world is gone and I'm alone in oblivion faced with this horrifying reality. I know my mom and Mark are here and holding my hands, I know Eli is here with them but I still feel so terrible alone.

"We'll be here first thing Monday," Mom says and I barely nod.

"Good we'll see you Monday at 9AM then. Any questions?" The doctor asks and we all shake our heads. I'm sure we all have questions but no one can think of them just now. "I'll give you a few minutes, take your time to leave and contact me if you have any questions," the doctor says before quietly leaving the room.

No one else moves until I release my mom's hand and stand up. I keep hold of Mark's hand and he stands with me, his arm going around me as soon as we're through the door. Eli storms past us quickly knocking into Mark as he passes. Mark tenses up and begins to open his mouth to say something but I put my hand on his arm.

"Don't Mark, leave him be he's just hurting," I whisper to Mark.

"I'll see you kids at the house, do you need anything Clare?" Mom asks and I shake my head.

"We're all upset and angry but it doesn't mean he can be a jerk," Mark says when my mom walks down the hall and out of earshot.

I can't answer I just begin to shake, turning into Mark's chest and gripping his shirt I explode into tears. Mark puts his arms around me holding me close and tight, rubbing my back as I sob on his chest.

"I'm supposed to graduate tomorrow and I don't even want to go," I confess to him when I can slow my sobbing enough to talk and breathe.

"You refused to go to prom and I stayed with you but you're going to graduation Clare. You had a terrible year and you worked hard, you're valedictorian you need to go. It's your last big hurrah before checking into the hospital for treatment," Mark insists.

"And probably losing my son," I say putting a hand on my belly and breaking into tears again.

Mark doesn't say anything he just holds me, there's nothing he can say. After some time my tears slow and I no longer want to be standing in the hospital hallway, so I let go of Mark's shirt, take his hand and we walk out to his car.

"You want to go home?" Mark asks as he begins driving and I shake my head.

"I can call Owen, we can get Adam and Tris to come over for movies," Mark suggests and I nod. He gets out his phone and calls Owen, when he begins driving in the direction of Owen's I know Owen said to come over.

"So not good news I take it?" Owen asks when he lets us in his apartment.

"I check into the hospital for aggressive treatment on Monday," I tell Owen and he hugs me tightly.

"Maya, Adam and Tris were all at my parent's house so I hope you don't mind if she comes too, she wanted to," Owen says as I sit on the sofa.

"Not at all I like Maya."

Owen orders pizza and Adam, Tris and Maya show up after a few minutes. After telling them what the doctor said we spend the evening eating pizza and watching movies. After three movies Adam has to get Maya home but Tris decides to sleep at Owen's house, they'll both be coming to the graduation ceremony tomorrow.

"I want to sleep at your place tonight," I tell Mark when we get in his car.

Mark just smiles, taking my hand, interlacing our fingers and kissing the back of my hand. I call my mom to let her know but it's not as if she can tell me no or that I'd listen if she did. Mark takes us to his apartment, I've never slept here before but I want to be with Mark right now. He gives me a shirt to sleep in and a new toothbrush he bought a couple days ago for himself. After we get ready for bed he holds me in his bed and his arms until I fall asleep.

"Wake up Gorgeous you're graduating today," Mark says kissing my temple the next morning.

"I still don't feel like going," I reply nuzzling into his chest.

"I know but if you don't go you'll look back and regret not going for your graduation and experiencing it. You earned this Clare, you need to be there. Come on you can shower here while I change and then I'll take you to your house to change," Mark tells me.

I groan and reluctantly get out of bed and his arms going into his washroom to shower. Mark is dressed nicely in black jeans and a dark green dress shirt. Once he's ready he drives me to my house to change. I still don't want really want to go and I don't dress up very much, I wear a summer dress just a simple summer dress. Jake came out for my graduation and he goes with Mom and Glen to the school while I ride with Mark of course.

"I'll see you after the ceremony," Mark says kissing my forehead before I go backstage to get my cap and gown.

"Hey Clare I heard the news, I'm really sorry," Dallas says giving me a light hug.

Drew looks at me like he wants to say something and then looks away.

After finding out that I relapsed Dallas began being rather apologetic and trying to be helpful. Drew meanwhile just wouldn't look at me, if we were in the hall together or the same class he would look down. Adam says Drew is ashamed for his past behavior and doesn't know what to say. I did quit student council after finding out, I knew I wouldn't have time or the energy with the regimen of alternative medicines and therapies they had me on.

I don't reply to Dallas but I do manage a small smile. Alli and Jenna come over to hug me and then Adam does the same before I get my cap and gown. I put it on and we begin to line up to go out on stage. When the music begins playing we go out on stage and sit down. Principal Simpson comes on stage and welcomes everyone before giving a speech and then calling Alli up to the podium.

"Thank you Principal Simpson, I really shouldn't be up here my best friend Clare has the honor of being valedictorian but she didn't want to accept and give a speech. She's been through a long hard journey the last couple of years and recently found out her struggles aren't over but Clare is the strongest person I know," Alli says and looks back at me with a smile. I smile at her and she continues on with her speech about the things she's learned and future possibilities.

When Alli sits down again Simpson begins handing out the diplomas and calling us up by name. When we all have our diplomas we throw our hats into the air and a zillion camera flashes flash. Then we file off stage to see our families and get congratulated by them. I go straight to Mark and he hugs me briefly before letting me go so Mom, Dad, Glen and Jake hug me and congratulate me. Owen and Tris come over to congratulate me as well before they go to congratulate Adam.

"Are you kids going to the BBQ or should we go to lunch?" Mom asks after they're satisfied with the amount of pictures taken and congratulations given.

"Actually I think I'd just like to go back to Mark's," I reply.

"Oh…uh okay, call us later Sweetie," Mom says hugging me again.

"I will," I nod.

Mark puts his arm around me, we walk out to his car again and he drives us back to his place. I go in and sit on his sofa, after he locks the door he sits with me and his arms come around me.

"I really am proud of you," Mark tells me kissing me gently.

I put my head on his shoulder and take his hand, "I don't want to go through this again, I don't want to lose my son."

 **(FITZ)**

"Hey Beautiful how you feeling?" I ask Clare as I come into her hospital room.

She's been in treatment for three weeks now and I've been here at the hospital every day and nearly every night, basically every time I wasn't working. Clare has been somber the whole time, when she's not nauseas and ill from the treatment she's been worried about the baby. They've done what they can to keep the baby alive and healthy but the treatment is brutal on Clare's body and the baby's and we all know it's a matter of time. Eli has been by a few times, mostly to check on the baby but he stays to be with Clare for a bit, of course he usually leaves when I show up. Clare's parents, Adam, Maya, Alli and Jenna have come by every day if only to say hi but they usually stay for a while.

"Fine," Clare replies in a melancholy tone.

"You don't have anything to do for a couple of hours you want to come with me to the hospital church?" I offer and she shakes her head.

"Something is wrong I can feel it," she tells me with tears in her eyes.

"What do you mean something is wrong?"

"With the baby," she says rubbing her hand over her belly.

"Have you talked to the doctor about it yet?" I ask her and she shakes her head. I reach above her bed to press the call button and get a nurse in here. "She thinks something is wrong with the baby," I tell the nurse when she comes in.

"Okay let's get you to the hospital obstetrics ward," the nurse says going to the phone in Clare's room.

After a few words into the phone an orderly comes in with a wheelchair. I walk with Clare and the orderly to the elevator and go with them. The nurse must have called ahead because obstetrics is waiting for us and Clare is taken right into a room. She's put on a bed and they immediately begin an ultrasound. While still doing the ultrasound they put some other monitor on her, and then another and now I'm worried.

"I'm sorry Clare but the baby is dead. The best thing for us to do now is induce labor and deliver. I'm going to consult with your oncologist. Inducing labor means using some pretty heavy drugs and we don't want them to interfere with anything your oncologist is giving you. I'll be back in a few moments," the doctor says before leaving the room.

As soon as the doctor's gone Clare shatters into tears, gripping to me tightly as she sobs heavily. When she hears the doctor returning she sucks in the tears with a deep breath and brushes the remaining tears from her face.

"Alright Clare after speaking with your oncologist we're going to go ahead with labor induction," the doctor tells her.

"I want to have a C-section, I cannot give birth to my dead son. Please put me under and…" she says and her voice trembles unable to finish her sentence.

"If that's your wish I'll arrange for a surgical bay and team and talk with your oncologist," the doctor replies before leaving the room again.

Once more Clare breaks into tears, the doctor is gone for at least an hour and Clare cries the entire time. By the time the doctor comes in to put Clare under for the operation she's exhausted from all the crying. I have to move away from the bed so they can do what they need to. Clare is soon asleep and they wheel her out and I take a deep breath. I've been strong for her but it's so hard to watch her go through all this, getting sick from the treatments, losing faith that she'll pull through this and now losing her baby it's all but broke her. I only hope that she will get over the loss of her son enough to find the strength to heal, and I must have faith that she'll want to get better. After a few minutes I realize I'd better call people so they know what's going on, starting with Eli.

"Is it the baby?" Eli asks upon answering.

"I'm sorry Eli he's gone," I tell him and Eli hangs up.

I call Clare's mom next to tell her what's going on and she says they'll be at the hospital shortly. Then I call Owen and Adam, Owen will tell Tris and Adam will call Maya and Alli. By the time Clare's out of the surgery and being taken back to recovery everyone is at the hospital. Clare stays unconscious for the hour that they keep her in labor and delivery but begins to wake up when she's taken back to her room in the oncology ward. The only one missing from the room is Eli but I'm sure he's grieving in his own way, besides he was always more concerned with the baby than Clare and I'm kind of glad he's not here.

When Clare begins to wake up everyone gathers around her to offer their condolences and words of encouragement but Clare just stares at them blankly. Then she closes her eyes and begins to sob, I hold her close and her mom sits on the other side of her stroking her hair. Adam and Alli sit on the foot of her bed and stroke her legs. Clare cries for a while before falling asleep again, when she's asleep people begin to leave slowly. I stay, so does Adam and of course Clare's parents. She sleeps most of the day and eventually even her parents and Adam leave but I stay with her.

For the next several days Clare barely gets out of bed, she barely eats and she spends most of the time sleeping or just staring into nothing and looking melancholy. She's depressed, I know she's depressed but I don't know how to help her. She's lost so much and I see her giving up, I have to find a way to give her hope again. Reluctantly leaving the hospital when Clare goes to sleep one night I drive to Owen's and call Adam on the way asking him to meet me there.

"She's getting worse, she's getting worse because she never got to say goodbye to her son or really get to know him. I don't know if she'll even be willing to do it but I think we need to have a memorial for her son, let her say goodbye. And right after that we'll have a ceremony of life for her, remind her of all that she has to live for. If we don't do something she's going to let the cancer win."

"Good idea Fitz, I like both of those and I think they'll both help Clare," Adam says.

"Agreed, we should start planning immediately," Owen replies.

For the next couple of hours we plan both ceremonies, we get every detail even calling everyone we think should be there to be sure they can make it tomorrow. We want to do it as soon as possible. When I leave Owen's I go back to the hospital, before returning to Clare's room I find her nurse and tell her the plan, she agrees it's a great idea and says she'll make sure we have space in the garden for the memorial and that the staff can set Clare's room up for the life ceremony while we're at the memorial. Then I go back to Clare's room and watch her sleep, eventually I fall asleep holding her hand with my head on her bed. I wake up when I feel her moving on the bed, I sit up and look at her, she looks at me, takes my hand and then closes her eyes again. I wait until they bring her breakfast and when she pushes away the tray I take the covers off her.

"Come on you need a shower," I insists picking her up.

"What for?" She inquires but puts her arms around my neck.

"Because everyone is coming for a memorial for your son," I inform her.

"He wasn't even alive what's the use in having a memorial?" She questions when I set her down in the washroom.

"Because you need to say goodbye to him and he lives on in you, and Eli," I respond turning on the water.

She still doesn't look convinced but she doesn't argue. I leave her to undress and shower, while she does that I call Owen and Adam to make sure everything is set and everyone is coming at eleven. They tell me it's all set and the only one not coming is Eli, which I figured already, no one has heard from him since he learned his son died.

When I hear the shower turn off I knock on the washroom door, and peek in. Clare is drying off, all I can see is her in the fogged up mirror. She asks me to get her some clothes so I go to the closet and pick out some clothes for her. I choose a blue dress, something loose that should be comfortable and she can wear with her IV. I grab a bra for her and fresh panties and bring those to her. She takes a while to get dressed and brush her hair, by the time she comes out it's time to take her down to the garden. It's easy to see where the hospital staff set us up everyone is gathered there. I asked Father Greg to come and say a few words, I didn't know what to say and I didn't think anyone else would either. After all it's not as though this is a funeral for someone who lived, even an infant that dies a few minutes after birth is someone you get to know in that few minutes.

"We gather here to celebrate Baby Edwards-Goldsworthy, a soul called back to heaven before he ever got to know this earth. Though he never got a chance to live he will be loved and remembered by all those here," Father Greg says and Clare turns into me. As Father Greg begins to say a prayer Clare begins to sob.

Helen thanks Father Greg when he's done and we stay out there a few minutes. I hold Clare as she sobs, everyone else remains silent, a few have tears running down their face. After a few minutes I pull Clare away from me a bit and tip her chin up. I don't want her to get lost in the depths of sorrow any more, I want her to hear what we have to say for the celebration of her life and for her to know what she has to live for.

"One more thing to do still, come on," I insist to her.

I keep an arm around her and take her IV pole. The staff did a great job setting up Clare's room with all the pictures her mom and Adam brought, they had them blown up and they've been hung around the room. Tris had Grace help him with putting some of the things Clare wrote onto a flash drive so that they could be projected around the room. Last but not least there's a sonogram of her son, it's propped on her nightstand, subtle but it's there, one of the only physical reminders of the life of her son.

"What's all this?" Clare asks looking around her room.

"It's a celebration of you. You need to live Clare, to fight this cancer, to carry on and you need reminders of why. We know you're sad, none of us can even imagine the loss you've suffered but you can't give up. Everyone in this room cares about you and loves you and you can't leave us. You need to fight Clare, you have so many reasons to live and so few to give up so please fight, for yourself, for everyone here and for your son. He lives on through you and he can't do that if you don't live so please fight Clare," I plead with her.

Everyone else in the room tells her to fight, tells her to live or that they need. Clare sits on the bed and looks at her hands.

"I'll fight," she says quietly with a small nod but it's all I need to hear. She's going to fight now, she's going to fight and she's going to live.

"Good," I smile sitting next to her and tipping her chin up so I can kiss her lips softly, "I love you Clare."

 **That does it for this two-shot hope you enjoyed it.** _ **You Believed in Me Let Me be Right for You**_ **will be the next story updated.**


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